1、建築師
夫人對建築師說每當火車經過時，她的睡床就會搖動。
「這簡直是無稽之談１建築師回答說，「我來看看。」
建築師到達後，夫人建議他躺在床上，體會一下火車經過時的感覺。
建築師剛上床躺下，夫人的丈夫就回來了。
他見此情形，便厲聲喝問：「你躺在我妻子的床上幹什麼？」
建築師戰戰兢兢地回答：「我說是在等火車，你會相信嗎？」
【頓悟】
有些話是真的，卻聽上去很假；有些話是假的，卻令人無庸置疑。
２、引誘
英國紳士與法國女人同乘一個包廂，女人想引誘這個英國人，
她脫衣躺下後就抱怨身上發冷。先生把自己的被子給了她，
她還是不停地說冷。
「我還能怎麼幫助你呢？」先生沮喪地問道。
「我小時候媽媽總是用自己的身體給我取暖。」
「小姐，這我就愛莫能助了。我總不能跳下火車去找你的媽媽吧？」
【頓悟】
善解風情的男人是好男人，不解風情的男人更是好男人。
3、調羹
麥克走進餐館，點了一份湯，服務員馬上給他端了上來。
服務員剛走開，麥克就嚷嚷起來：「對不起，這湯我沒法喝。」
服務員重新給他上了一個湯，他還是說：「對不起，這湯我沒法喝。」
服務員只好叫來經理。
經理畢恭畢敬地朝麥克點點頭，說：「先生，這道菜是本店最拿手的，
深受顧客歡迎，難道您……」
「我是說，調羹在哪裡呢？」
【頓悟】
有錯就改，當然是件好事。但我們常常卻改掉正確的，留下錯誤的，結果是錯上加錯。
4、穿錯
飯廳內，一個異常謙恭的人膽怯地碰了碰另一個顧客，
那人正在穿一件大衣。
「對不起，請問您是不是皮埃爾先生？」
「不，我不是。」那人回答。
「啊，」他舒了一口氣，「那我沒弄錯，我就是他，您穿了他的大衣。」
【頓悟】
要做到理直氣壯，並不是件容易的事情。理直的人，往往低聲下氣；
而理歪的人，卻是氣壯如牛。
5、回電
一個蘇格蘭人去倫敦，想順便探望一位老朋友，但卻忘了他的住址，
於是給家父發了一份電報：「您知道托馬的住址嗎？速告１
當天，他就收到一份加急回電：「知道。」
【頓悟】
當我們終於找到最正確的答案時，卻發現它是最無用的。
6、傷心故事
有三個人到紐約度假。他們在一座高層賓館的第45層訂了一個套房。
一天晚上，大樓電梯出現故障，服務員安排他們在大廳過夜。
他們商量後，決定徒步走回房間，並約定輪流說笑話、唱歌和講故事，
以減輕登樓的勞累。
笑話講了，歌也唱了，好不容易爬到第34層，大家都感覺精疲力竭。
「好吧，彼德，你來講個幽默故事吧。」
彼德說：「故事不長，卻令人傷心至極：我把房間的鑰匙忘在大廳了。」
【頓悟】
我們痛苦，所以幽默；我們幽默，所以快樂。
7、賣書
一個很有名的作家要來書店參觀。書店老闆受寵若驚，連忙把所有的書撤下，
全部換上作家的書。作家來到書店後，心裡非常高興，
問道：「貴店只售本人的書嗎？」
「當然不是。」書店老闆回答，「別的書銷路很好，都賣完了。」
【頓悟】
「拍馬屁」是個奇怪的詞：你像是在奉承他，又像是在侮辱他。
8、幫忙
在郵局大廳內，一位老太太走到一個中年人跟前，
客氣地說：「先生，請幫我在明信片上寫上地址好嗎？」
「當然可以。」中年人按老人的要求做了。
老太太又說：「再幫我寫上一小段話，好嗎？謝謝！」
「好吧。」中年人照老太太的話寫好後，
微笑著問道：「還有什麼要幫忙的嗎？」
「嗯，還有一件小事。」老太太看著明信片說，
「幫我在下面再加一句：字跡潦草，敬請原諒。」
【頓悟】
你若不肯幫忙，人家會恨你一個星期；如果幫得不夠完美，還不如……
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
痛了，你自然就会放下
一个苦者找到一个和尚倾诉他的心事。
他说：“我放不下一些事，放不下一些人。”
和尚说：“没有什么东西是放不下的。”
他说：“这些事和人我就偏偏放不下。”
和尚让他拿着一个茶杯，然后就往里面倒热水，一直倒到水溢出来。
苦者被烫到马上松开了手。
和尚说：“这个世界上没有什么事是放不下的，痛了，你自然就会放下。”
是啊，和尚说的对。越过时间和空间的交集，淡然下来，伤痛便结成一坨茄。不去触碰不去用力掰扯，茄便不会流血。渐渐地，茄会脱落，形成一个淡淡的疤痕；再渐渐地，不去仔细观察，常人用肉眼已辨别不出。
人会放下些东西，乃是因为他痛了。
在感情的路上也一样。
一个男孩如果对女孩表明他的心意多次，却换来冷漠的对待，久而久之男孩就会渐渐的退缩。
不是因为男孩变心了。
而是他痛了。
然而他也学会了放下女孩。
早点看破 才看得见以後
他说：“我放不下一些事，放不下一些人。”
和尚说：“没有什么东西是放不下的。”
他说：“这些事和人我就偏偏放不下。”
和尚让他拿着一个茶杯，然后就往里面倒热水，一直倒到水溢出来。
苦者被烫到马上松开了手。
和尚说：“这个世界上没有什么事是放不下的，痛了，你自然就会放下。”
是啊，和尚说的对。越过时间和空间的交集，淡然下来，伤痛便结成一坨茄。不去触碰不去用力掰扯，茄便不会流血。渐渐地，茄会脱落，形成一个淡淡的疤痕；再渐渐地，不去仔细观察，常人用肉眼已辨别不出。
人会放下些东西，乃是因为他痛了。
在感情的路上也一样。
一个男孩如果对女孩表明他的心意多次，却换来冷漠的对待，久而久之男孩就会渐渐的退缩。
不是因为男孩变心了。
而是他痛了。
然而他也学会了放下女孩。
早点看破 才看得见以後
Thursday, November 11, 2010
不幸与公平
一个青年人非常的不幸。10岁时母亲害病去世,他不得不学会洗衣做饭,照顾自己,因为他的父亲是位长途汽车司机,很少在家。
7年后,他的父亲又死于车祸,他必须学会谋生,养活自己,他再没有人可以依靠。
20岁时他在一次工程事故中失去了左腿,他不得不学会应付随之而来的不便,他学会了用拐杖行走,倔强的他从不轻易请求别人的帮助。最后他拿出所有的积蓄办了一个养鱼场。然而,一场突如其来的洪水将他的劳动和希望毫不留情地一扫而光。
他终于忍无可忍了,他找到了上帝,愤怒地责问上帝:“你为什么对我这样不公平?”
上帝反问他:“你为什么说我对你不公平?”
他把他的不幸讲给了上帝。
“噢!是这样,的确有些凄惨,可为什么你还要活下去呢?”
年轻人被激怒了:“我不会死的,我经历了这么多不幸的事,没有什么能让我感到害怕。终有一天我会创造出幸福的!”
上帝开怀地笑了,他打开地狱之门,指着一个鬼魂给他看,说:“那个人生前比你幸运得多,他几乎是一路顺风走到生命的终点,只是最后一次和你一样,在同一场洪水中失去了他所有的财富。不同的是他自杀了,而你却坚强地活着……”
======
能活着是种幸福
能坚强是种幸福
7年后,他的父亲又死于车祸,他必须学会谋生,养活自己,他再没有人可以依靠。
20岁时他在一次工程事故中失去了左腿,他不得不学会应付随之而来的不便,他学会了用拐杖行走,倔强的他从不轻易请求别人的帮助。最后他拿出所有的积蓄办了一个养鱼场。然而,一场突如其来的洪水将他的劳动和希望毫不留情地一扫而光。
他终于忍无可忍了,他找到了上帝,愤怒地责问上帝:“你为什么对我这样不公平?”
上帝反问他:“你为什么说我对你不公平?”
他把他的不幸讲给了上帝。
“噢!是这样,的确有些凄惨,可为什么你还要活下去呢?”
年轻人被激怒了:“我不会死的,我经历了这么多不幸的事,没有什么能让我感到害怕。终有一天我会创造出幸福的!”
上帝开怀地笑了,他打开地狱之门,指着一个鬼魂给他看,说:“那个人生前比你幸运得多,他几乎是一路顺风走到生命的终点,只是最后一次和你一样,在同一场洪水中失去了他所有的财富。不同的是他自杀了,而你却坚强地活着……”
======
能活着是种幸福
能坚强是种幸福
Monday, November 1, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
What should I do to marry a rich guy?
Amazing reply by J.P. Morgan CEO to a Pretty girl
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
Awesome reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool..
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do contact me....
Signed,
CEO
J.P. Morgan happy
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
Awesome reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool..
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do contact me....
Signed,
CEO
J.P. Morgan happy
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